31st December
Dear John
When I opened the door this morning, there were actually six bloody Great geese - laying eggs all over the front step. What on earth do you think I can do with them all?
The neighbours are beginning to complain about the smell, and I can't sleep because of the noise! Please stop.
Cordially yours,
Agnes
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1st January
What is it with you and these fucking birds? Now I get seven swans a swanning about the place! Is it some sort of god damned joke?
The house is full of bird shit, and the racket !!! I am becoming a nervous wreck.
It is not funny anymore, stop sending these fucking birds!!!
Agnes.
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